Random jolts of severe anxiety is NOT fun.

"fuck you marissa. stupid fucking bitch."

Well, don't we all turn out to become liars.

Seems like the only time that I come here is when i'm angry or upset. I guess that's because I have no one to go to, no one to confide in. Certain things will upset one person, something else will upset another in some way. I hate this feeling. This alone feeling. The feeling of looking all around yourself and realizing that there really is no one there, just a hope inside your head that someone really cares enough. 

I miss James. A lot. And nothing I say will make him want to talk to me more. Everything I say will make him want to talk to me less. I fucked up, and not even a friendship can be salvaged from this. I miss him everyday. It hurts, a lot. 

I miss you so much, but you will never know the regret in my stomach, the pain in my heart, the wishing that it was any other way. I would take all the pain I caused you away. I would erase your memories of me... I do not deserve to be even a memory to you.

Make me realize just how much of a piece of shit I really am. You would be your greatest without me. I'm only holding you back.